The Depths of Love
by cendella
Summary: Alternate version of In Too Deep which explores the emotions of all involved in the Astreaus crew abduction. Focuses on how it relates mainly to Jack and Allison.
1. As Waves Have Peaks and Valleys

**I do not own EUReKA. **

The Depths of Love

Chapter 1: As Waves Have Peaks and Valleys, So To Shall Our Lives

"_Excuse me."_

Frustrated, Allison let out a long deep sigh as Jack curtly requested she move to one side. She had been blocking his path from the bathroom to the bedroom in an attempt to get him to acknowledge her existence. Frankly, she was fed up with his attitude, but she guessed she shouldn't complain. At least he was talking to her...sorta. No, it wasn't in complete sentences, but she'd take what she could get. Jack hadn't spoken a word to her since late last afternoon. Following their mutual assent, she thought they'd come to an understanding. Apparently, it seemed she was the only one who was ready to let go and move forward. How the shiny facade of their relationship, which the outside world saw as perfect had tarnished so quickly, she did not know. Yesterday what was supposed to be a chance for her to get away and finally have some peace and quiet –even if only for work purposes, ended up being one of the worst days of her life. Since the incident, Jack had been giving her the silent treatment. This was the first time in over fourteen hours that he'd uttered a word to her, unkind or otherwise. Oh, he was civil when he needed to be, but those warm remarks weren't intended for her.

Lately her life had become a circus...and not the amusing kind. Having dealt with a second abduction and being placed in a computer generated reality where she'd been made to believe she'd missed out on four years of her children growing up was painful enough, however, the lone event that broke her was the belief that Jack had moved on and with Jo of all people. Not only that, but it appeared she had taken her place in her kids life. When she and the other Astreaus crew members were rescued from being held captive by the Consortium, she wasn't the only survivor who'd a hard time coping.

That had been weeks ago and the adjustment phase was moving slowly. But to top off the chaos of her everyday Eureka existence, she was now surrounded by uninvited guests – uninvited by her that is.

There was Andy who had been spending every night at their house so that he could be with S.A.R.A.H and Fargo who was camped out on their couch due to a holographic Holly's occupancy. Her other button pusher was Jo, who as it seemed was the only person oblivious to the goings inside the faux Eureka. She had unknowingly been a thorn in her side ever since. Allison admits now that her anger was misplaced, but when Jo did find out, her reaction to the situation didn't help matters. Suddenly she began acting as if she'd had a thing for Jack all along. Allison never let on that she saw the longing looks or awkward behavior when she was around Jack because she didn't want to seem like the crazy one. Allison started to come to terms with the truth that what she'd experienced was fake, but Jo's presence in her home nonetheless brought all of that to a screeching halt.

When Allison swapped conciseness with Jack, Jo confessed to what she assumed was Jack that she'd thought about the two of them together, unaware that it had in actuality been Allison she talking to. Allison eventually apologized to Jo for not confessing who she was, but that didn't mean she'd resolved the harsh feelings she still had toward her. Sure, there had been other problems in the ensuing weeks, but that was the catalyst that set in motion the issue she and Jack were having now.

So, when the chance for a moment of solitude presented itself, she couldn't pass up the opportunity. On her way out, she slipped and told Jack that she'd yet to tell her family about the wedding when he kept pressing her to set a date. That's when she knew she'd fucked up...big time. He had _that_ expression on his face. The one where he looked like a lost baby bird and what had been the perfect chance for her to explain herself, she let slip away. That might have been the end of it but apparently Jack had set up a surprise romantic lunch for them in the submersible.

They never were able to get in the mood and when he flat out asked why she didn't mention it to her loved ones, her passive response left him cold. Upset, when he suggested that maybe they should do this at another time, she naturally assumed he meant getting married. Oh, how wrong she was. He immediately ended their date, leaving her to finish her work undisturbed. After he'd unceremoniously departed, well before their completed meal, Allison made a conscious effort to put the episode out of her mind so she could concentrate on the task in front of her. It wouldn't do her any good to dwell on it at that precise moment anyway. Besides, they both needed a cooling off period.

When she'd returned that evening, Jack had still yet to arrive home from work. She figured he'd be in soon, so in an attempt to smooth things over, she had S.A.R.A.H take the night off and she made his favorite dinner. They had just seated themselves down to eat, Fargo included, when he came strolling in. It was obvious that his disposition was unchanged. She had learned to read his emotions by staring only into his eyes. Instead of the individual attention he usually gave everyone, this time it was a blanket greeting. Well, that wasn't exactly true. One person was able to break the facade and all she needed to do was utter two simple words.

"Hi daddy."

He lit up like a Christmas tree which was visible not only in his smile, but in his eyes, which seconds ago had been dour to say the least. There was something about that innocently unaware grin of Jenna's that always seemed to melt his reserve. Scooping her up in his arms, then adding a quick twirl for affect, he kissed her cheek.

"Hi sweetie."

Allison wasn't surprised that he made an effort when talking to Jenna, Kevin, Fargo and hell, even Holly. So basically, everyone but her. Allison tried to engage him in conversation only to be rebuffed. He tried not to make it obvious, but in a room full of geniuses, it didn't go unnoticed for long. That was probably the quietest meal they'd ever had at that table. While Jack sat at the head, Allison faced him, Jenna to her left, Fargo on her right with Kevin next to Jack. Each attempt to engage him caused the other occupants at the table sit in soundless contemplation. It was as if they were witness to a tennis match as their eyes darted between the two. Kevin seemingly fed up with the stillness in room commented on the mood.

"Okay, this is weird. What's going on?"

"Nothing." Simultaneously she and Jack answered, their eyes briefly meeting.

Kevin refrained from asking anymore questions. Heck, he knew when to leave well enough alone.

Their meal complete, Jack swiftly rose from the table and stating to no one in particular, said he was heading over to Henry's and left out. That was last Allison saw of him until two o'clock that morning.

Jack hotfooted it out of the house just in time. Since finding out from Allison this morning that she'd failed to tell her family about him, it had been an exercise in self-control in order to keep his emotions in check. The range he'd been through in such a short time left his confused. While he'd told them he was leaving for Henry's, what he did in truth seemed out of character for him and something he didn't want to share with anyone. So, he took the short ride to the secluded top of Rutherford ridge, so named after Ernest Rutherford the father of nuclear physics. There, he parked his jeep near the edge and climbed on the hood. This was an activity he carried out since Tess left for Australia...well in their old timeline anyway. He found it peaceful to just lay back and stargaze. It was one of the positives he took from his relationship with Tess. It allowed him time to gather his thoughts without the distraction of work, town or people in general.

Hands behind his head, he thought about the events of the day. What he'd hoped would be a romantic surprise for the woman he loved, ended up shaking him to his core. Before she ran off this morning, he was shocked to find out she'd yet to tell her family about the two of them getting married. That he could deal with, but there was a lot more to the story than that. Her revelation was definitely a shot to his self-esteem. Setting that aside, he decided to give her a chance to explain herself. So, once in the submarine, a luxurious meal set out before them, he waited and waited to no avail. When she didn't broach the subject, he knew he'd have to confront her. The ensuing conversation did nothing to dissuade his fears. If anything, it made them ten times worse. Since then, he'd remained in his head. Going from happiness that he was able to wake up next to Allison not only on a daily basis, but for the rest of their lives. Excitement not only that they were a couple but she'd accepted his marriage proposal. Sadness at her admission this morning. Scared when she so easily agreed to his wanting to do this another time – incidentally what she thought was to be their union when he was only talking about lunch. Then finally, anger that she'd keep him and her family in the dark this entire time. Right now the conflux of his right and left brains thoughts left him feeling empty. He was battered and bruised not physically, but emotionally. The most frightening part was that he felt he'd been here before, only that time had been with Abby. The mistrust, the secrets, so much anger. He knew he couldn't hide from his problems let alone stay away all night, so unaware of the time he climbed in his jeep and drove home.

He entered quietly so he wouldn't wake anyone in the house. S.A.R.A.H was surely occupied by Andy, Holly's program placed in stasis mode and Fargo was fast asleep on the couch. He didn't have to worry about the kids whom he was sure had conked out hours ago. His singular worry was Allie. He tiptoed into their bedroom so as not to disturb her. He peered over and saw her dozing on her side of the bed. He crossed to his bureau, removed his watch and laid it noiselessly on top. As he began to pull his T-shirt up over his head, she spoke to him, freezing him in place.

"Jack, where were you tonight?"

Jack closed his eyes, his breathing uncontrolled as he tried to keep himself in check and when he didn't answer her, she continued.

"I called Henry because I was worried when you didn't come home."

Jack could hear the concern in her voice. He knew she wasn't trying to be nosey or overbearing, but distressed by the fact she couldn't locate him and his whereabouts had been unknown. He knew she could have found him if she really wanted to, hell, there weren't many places you could go for privacy in Eureka where someone couldn't find you anyway.

"Jack...where did you go?"

Her state clearly tormented as to his behavior, right now he really didn't care. Without even bothering to account for the time spent away, he stormed off into the bathroom merely offering her one word, "Out!"

Allison sat on the edge of the bed once he closed the bathroom door behind him and sobbed quietly. How had this all go so wrong? She had to fix this but he didn't seem willing to relent in any way, shape, or form. Yes, she knew he could be stubborn, but to not even give her the chance to elucidate was unlike him. So, she decided to wait for him. If he didn't want to talk, that was fine. He would just have to listen. He emerged from the shower thirty minutes later and crawled into bed, shrinking far onto his side.

It would appear he didn't even want to be near her, so Allison rolled so that she faced his back, she reached out to caress his forearm, then thought wiser and pulled back.

She called out to him softly, "Jack."

Still nothing.

"Jack. Say something, please."

He remained staunch in his refusal to acknowledge her.

"Okay, you don't have to talk, but I need you to listen."

Allison eked closer to him, only a heartbeat away.

"Jack, I don't know how to explain this to you. I understand why you're upset with me, but you have to see it from my point of view. It's just that everything's been moving at warp speed since we've returned. I came back still unsure of my reality, but I was never unsure of you. What if I hadn't come back, don't you see that the actuality of the predicted future would have come true. It was frightening to know that the world had moved on without us. Your world without me. Can't you see my confusion? The kids were already with you, Jo had come back to Eureka and the government were about to give up on us. If it wasn't for you, Kevin and Henry, I don't know what may have happened. My head realizes it had only been a month since our departure, but my heart doesn't know any better."

And even after her admission, from him, nothing. Allison sensed he felt her testament was complete bullshit. She acknowledged that if she'd been on the receiving end of a statement like that, she wouldn't have believed it either. It wasn't as if she was trying to keep the truth from him, the real reason just seemed stupid and foolish. That was one fear she wasn't ready to bring to light. The reasons were hers and hers alone to know.

She could tell he was still awake, more than likely starting straight ahead, deciding on what action to take. Allison didn't think she could wait that long. She needed to know now.

"Jack, I love you."

He didn't answer. He always answered. That's when panic set in. She couldn't breathe. Allison felt as if she had a vice take hold of her chest and squeeze. Why wouldn't he respond in kind? No matter what was going on between them, since they'd become a couple, if either said I love you, you could be sure the other would return the sentiment. In a last ditch attempt, she reached out for him again, this time her palm lay flat against his back.

"Jack, I can take you being mad at me, but please tell me you still love me. Jack, please...say you love me. Please."

She could barely get the last words as her tears started to flow. She turned, her body shaking uncontrollably. Curling into a ball, she compressed her body tight, the fetal position providing her with a sense of comfort. She didn't know how long she lay there crying for him, but his strong hand upon her midsection brought her back from the depths of despair.

He never spoke a word as he pulled her close and enveloped her in his arms. Allison craned her head toward him ready to apologize once again, but before she uttered a syllable, she was as overtaken as his mouth covered hers. Crawling a top her, he kissed her passionately. Allison knew exactly what this was and making love it wasn't.

Though he was angry at her, so pissed that to say the words she wanted to hear felt like a betrayal from his lips, he showed her. There was no sweet kisses, no exploration of the body, mind or soul. He appeared to be taking out his anger and frustration with her in this one act. No, he wasn't hurting her or forcing her to do anything against her will, but Allison could feel the tension between them. A willing participant, Allison grasped his head between her hands and kissed him hard. There was a gnashing of lips, teeth and tongues. He bit at her neck wantonly and with great need. When he reached down and pulled off his sleep pants, Allison yanked her panties down in kind.

She felt his member pressed against her thigh, the solid weight and rigid form caused her to pre-ejaculate. She didn't care right now, he was with her. He didn't whisper sweet nothings in her ear as he often did when they made love. No light feathery kisses on her eyelids, no stroke of the tongue over her lobe. He only grunted as he pounded forcefully inside of her. Bracing himself, he leaned back onto his knees and wrapped her legs round his waist and fucked her...hard. Hands grasping the headboard for extra leverage, his breathing began wild and erratic. Each thrust unsynchronized as he gripped her hips, pulling himself inside of her as far as he could go. He seemed intent on pleasing himself tonight and when he came, he collapsed on her, his face tucked in the space between her neck and shoulder-blade.

Allison wished he hadn't stopped. She wanted more, she wanted to be punished. If it made him feel better then she would do it for him. His breathing back to normal he rose slightly to look in her eyes and what she saw crushed her. It wasn't anger nor sadness. It was a dispiritedness. It was if he had lost all faith not only in them, but her. Silently he crawled from over her and back over to his side and faced the wall.

Allison started at the ceiling most of the night unable to sleep. She didn't cry again that night, but what she did do was go over in her mind what she would say to him in the morning. She had make her case, only then would he understand. So she waited until he stirred that morning before she began her plea.

"Jack, I can't take it anymore."

She knew he was awake but he declined to address her. Yes, she was wrong but she wouldn't put up with this any longer.

"Dammit Jack, talk to me!"

"What do you want me say?"

"Say you don't understand, say you're disappointed, say you hate me."

Jack turned to face her, a hurt look on his face.

"Don't you dare use those words. You know I don't hate you. I could never you hate you."

"Then have a conversation with me. Give me a chance to explain."

"I've heard your explanation and frankly I think it's crap."

"It's the truth, I..."

"No! It's not!"

Allison was taken aback. He never yelled at with her. He rose out of bed and stood near the bedside table.

"Allie, I'm so tired of rehashing the same issues."

He'd stung her. He appeared at wits end.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it that way. Allie, I'm not trying to dismiss your fears or what you went through, but it seems like no matter what I do, it's never good enough. You keep bringing up Jo, and I told you there's nothing going on. There never was and never will be. It hurts that you don't trust me and there comes a point where I have to believe that...it's me."

Shaking head vigorously she wanted to squash the notion. "No, no, no, no, no."

"What else am I to think then. I love you Allison. I would go to the ends of the universe and back for you, to find you. I don't know what to do anymore. I can understand if you were unsure and didn't want to tell your family about us but, you couldn't even confide in me. That's what hurt the most."

His eyes glistening, his voice cracked as he tried to hold back the tears.

"I know I'm not smart enough..."

"Jack, that doesn't mean anything to me, you know that."

"Allie, I can't."

Mindlessly ticking at the tabletop with his fingers, eyes diverted,mouth contorted, he continued.

"Um...I think I'm going stay at the station-house tonight. I'll be home for dinner and won't leave until after the kids go to sleep, but I need to be by myself."

Allison leapt from their bed, clutching her arms around him. She looked up to him, her soft brown eyes implored he reconsider.

Jack couldn't even look at her because he knew he would lose it and be unable to stop the flow of tears.

"I never thought that loving you would hurt. I've done everything. You should have told me you were having second thoughts."

"Jack I wasn't having second thoughts."

"Allison, please I need time."

With that, Allison released him. He seemed disenchanted with her at the moment and just as she had found herself at a crossroads, he was now in a similar place. She would give him his space he needed.

Somehow, someway she would make this right. She had to.

* * *

_Next - Chapter 2: It's Never a Question of Will It Flood, It's a Question of When Is High Tide_

**Author's Note: **What can I say, I like to bring the drama. I thought this scene could have gone any which way but I am ecstatic with how it played out on the show. There's just not enough time in a sixty minute episode to delve deeply into each characters emotions. With this story, I want to highlight some of the omissions I would have liked to see, this being the first of many. I know reading this may be a bit hard, but I hope you trust in my writing and go along for the ride. I would really like to hear your thoughts on this so, please review. Enjoy.


	2. Come Hell Or High Water

**I do not own EUReKA. Kay sera, sera. **

The Depths of Love

Chapter 2: Come Hell or High Water

Jack was exhausted and it didn't help matters that he was finding it difficult to get comfortable. He had been sleeping fitfully all night long and it had nothing to do with where he'd chosen to lay his head. He punched his pillow again in an attempt to make it more pliable, knowing that it wasn't the problem at all. This was the first night in years that he'd slept in the jail cell at the Sheriff's station and the first night in months he'd slept without Allison by his side. The previous two evenings he stayed at Henry's but after getting the third degree Grace about Allison, he decided he would be better off alone. After his falling-out with Allison, he told her he would prefer to stay away for a while but the time apart had done nothing to help dissuade or ease his fears. Oh, he went through the motions without complaint, but it was proving to be an exercise in futility.

Attempting to stick to his daily routine, he got up earlier than usual so that he could run home, shower, then eat breakfast with the kids, who thankfully were none the wiser of his nightly disappearance. He went to work, making sure he kept himself occupied with different tasks, effectively ignoring the odd looks he'd get from Andy time to time. The biggest blessing of all was that there had been no emergencies at either GD or in town. Since he had no reason to travel to the facility, he'd barely seen Allison in the past three days other than breakfast and dinner. While at home, their evening meal finished, he'd usually go for a bike ride or a run. Upon his return, he watched television or made phone calls, any excuse he could use to distract himself from the real issue at hand.

For her part, Allison wasn't fairing much better either. Those three nights without him had been unbearable to say the least. She hadn't realized how much she missed his presence until he was gone. She didn't include the times before they began their relationship or the occasions when they'd done things separately. Allison always valued her independence and found herself overwhelmed at the fact she now seemed lost without him. She had never before experienced a loss such as this and it proved to be trying. Yes, both her first spouse David and Nathan had met with untimely deaths and the grief she'd felt was indeed profound, but with Jack, it was different. If anyone asked her to put it into words or definitive terms, she wasn't sure she could. It was an emotion, a sense of completeness and serenity when she was near him. She had been in love before and knew the feeling well, but what she had with Jack seemed to be without parallel.

She believed it was the main reason she resisted his subtle advances for so long. There had been an immediate attraction between the two of them and even though she tried to deny it, it was a sensation she was unable to handle. She remembered the first day they met. She felt that unmistakeable flutter of butterflies in her stomach and the days that followed proved to only increase those emotions. It didn't help that he was staying at the Inn. She hated that she was even a tad bit jealous when she thought that he and Beverly had slept together. How could a man she had know all of a few days have done this to her? He certainly was unlike any man she'd dated before and that instantly made her cautious. Truth be told, she was glad they happened the way they did. Jack was not only her fiancé, he was her best friend and she missed him dearly. So, each night, she would crawl over to his side of the bed, wrap her arms around his pillow so that she could inhale his scent, and weep endlessly until she fell asleep. She so desperately wanted to see him, be with him, talk to him, but she didn't know what to say. Her reasoning for withholding the details of their engagement from her family had nothing to do with him solely and contrary to his belief. But how could she explain it to him when it didn't make much sense to her? Each time she thought about he choice, it appeared rational, but she feared he might never understand.

As she lay there this particular night, a sense of urgency overcame her as she jolted from her position in bed and peered over at the clock. Even though she just as easily could have asked S.A.R.A.H, they liked to keep some of the normal household amenities around. According to the clock, it had just turned one and even though she'd laid down several hours ago, sleep had not yet found her and she knew exactly why. The difficulty she and Jack were having weighed heavily on her mind and she couldn't let this go on any further. As painful as it would be, she knew what she had to do.

And across town, it appeared that Allison wasn't the only one who was finding it hard to slumber.

Jack stirred out of a restless sleep, startled by an unusual noise. He knew he was alone in his office but he could swear he felt another presence in the room with him. His gun belt lying on the floor below the cot, he searched underneath until he felt the cold steel, tightening it within his grip. Whoever was inside with him had turned on none of the lights and tiptoed cautiously across the hardwood floor apparently in an attempt to sneak up on him. Unfortunately for the intruder, he was already on guard.

He sprung from his relaxed position, gun at the ready and bellowed in his most powerful voice.

"Freeze!"

The intruder let out an immediate yet frightened gasp. Once he heard it, there was no mistaking who the ominous shadow belonged to.

"Allie?"

His pistol lowered, he crossed over and turned on the light switch.

"What are you doing sneaking around here in the middle of the night? Are you crazy? I could have shot you!"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sneak up on you like that but I didn't want to startle you either."

Jack checked his watch, his eyes still blurry, he wasn't sure he'd read the time correctly.

"Allie. It's two o'clock in the morning. What are you doing here so late?"

Panic setting in, he asked what he feared most.

"Oh my God. Is it the kids? Are they all right?"

"The kids are fine...but we're not."

"I know."

His expression sullen, Jack eased himself back into the cell and onto the mattress.

Allison meandered closer, unsure if she should sit or not. When he nodded his head in approval, she took up the spot next to him. When she reached out to touch him, unlike their last physical encounter, he did not tense or pull away. Her hand enclosed in his, she felt a rush of endorphins cascade throughout. She had so longed for his touch and if this was all she could have for the moment, she would cherish each second.

Staring deep into his eyes, she hesitantly began. "Jack, I owe you an explanation and as difficult as it will be for me to tell you, I have to get it out. Just promise me that you'll give me the chance to explain and you'll really listen."

"I promise."

Allison let out a long sigh. This was going to be harder than she thought.

"Jack, I want you to know...no, I need you to know that I love you more than any man I ever have or ever will. You are everything to me and the thought of you not being by my side fills me with dread. I've lied not only to you, but my family and myself. You have to know it's not because of who you are or what you do. The blame lays entirely with me.

Allison could feel the tears welling up in her eyes, but true to his word, Jack didn't interrupt as she struggled to continue on.

"What I'm about to confess is scary for me. It's almost as if once I allow the words to leave my mouth, I'm admitting that it's an actuality and will come to fruition."

Reaching out, she placed her palm against his cheek.

"Jack, when I first met you, I knew you were different. Not in the sense that you were unlike the scientists or inventors that lived and worked here in Eureka, but truly different. You had this quality unlike any other. I felt a connection, a familiarity as if we'd met before. Even though you weren't like anyone I've had a relationship with before, I was smitten."

Just the thought of how deeply she felt for him brought a smile to her face. She peered at him with eyes of pure devotion which seemed to break some of his resolve as a smirk pulled at the corners of his mouth.

"We were opposites, and even though my mind fought the notion, my heart knew we were so right for each other. I admit, I was afraid to take that step. I knew you were interested but I played coy. I pushed you away. By the time I really got to know you, I didn't think it would be right for us to begin something romantically. I had grown to rely on you, not just for what you do for this town or these people, but for me personally. You have been ever faithful to me in heart and when we began dating, it was better than I could have imagined. Even with everything we've been though with Nathan, Tess, the alternate timeline and now this, I've never wanted to be with anyone but you. When you got down on one knee to propose to me and I said yes, I meant it. I do want to marry you Jack. I wanted to marry you then and I want to marry you now. I want to be your wife. I want to be by your side until the end of time, and that's when it hit me."

Allison inched even closer. She wanted to make sure he felt the full affect of her words.

"Jack, I'm scared."

Jack tilted his head in that way he did when he was obviously confused.

"When we were in the fake Eureka and you were with Jo, it broke my heart."

"Allie, that wasn't real."

"I know that, but it doesn't change the fact that it hurt then and it still hurts now."

Jack cradled her face in his hands.

"Now you listen to me. Nothing has ever happened between me and Jo and nothing ever will. I love you."

"I know that I have nothing to worry about with Jo and I realize my feelings were misplaced. It wasn't the idea of you and her so much as it was the thought that you were gone. You told me then how much you grieved my loss and how Jo brought you back from the brink. I knew that feeling because I'd been there twice before. When I lost David, I was still relatively young so it did take me some time to navigate through the grieving process. I thought we'd be together forever and to lose him while Kevin was still a baby was frightening, but I moved on. When Nathan came into my life, I looked at it as a fresh start. Again I'd chosen a man who was similar to me. We had the same interests, the same goals. It was good for some time, then it all fell apart. You know what I've been through with Nathan but deep down in my heart, I also knew I was in love with you. I chose Nathan because he was familiar and I did have feelings for him. I know it sounds cruel, but it's true. When I lost him it was hard enough, but to be pregnant? I found myself in the same situation. Partnerless with a baby to take care of."

She paused to take a deep breath.

"Initially I was worried about how our dynamic would change. Jack, you're my best friend and I was worried that stepping into a relationship with you would end that. But we progressed and though we had some missteps along the way but we navigated through. Even moving in together was taking a big chance, not only for us, but for the kids. Jack, when I thought I'd lost you to Jo, those same feelings came rushing back. No, the scenario wasn't exactly the same, but the sense of loss was. It only made it worse because you were still there for me to see, but you were no longer a part of my life. I know it's selfish, but I couldn't rationalize how you could move on. Now that we're here in our reality, I can see the old cycle happening again."

She could see from his facial expression that he was puzzled by her statement.

"I don't understand. What do you mean happening again?"

"Honey, you risk your life for us time and time again. What if something happened to you? You put yourself in harms way without hesitation. Jack...I didn't tell my family because I didn't want to ruin what we have. I know it's seems irrational, but what if I'm not meant to be happy. This would be my third marriage and if something happened to you, I don't think I could survive it."

"Allie, I know there's nothing I can say that will erase those fears. We never know what tomorrow may bring, especially living here. I would be happy to just live together, sharing our lives, but I want to make a commitment to you, our kids, the world. If my job is a problem, I'll quit if you want me to."

"No, I would never ask that of you. I'd never ask you to change for me. It's who you are and part of the reason I fell so madly in love with you. Your passion, integrity and dedication is a part of you, just as much as your heart is."

"Then you know that if we get married or I left this job, something could still happen to me. I know you've survived the pain before, but do you really want to use that as an excuse to not move forward?"

"No, I don't."

"So, how do we move on from here?"

"By being open and honest with each other, no matter how painful it may be."

"You really hurt me Allie."

"I know and I'm so, so sorry."

Her emotions overtook her as she began to sob.

"Jack, if you'll still have me, I want to marry you. I love you more than life itself and I don't want to spend another moment without you."

Allison waited quietly, her fear rising when he failed to respond. Oh God she thought. What had she done? Had she lost him, his trust, his love? She didn't want him to see here completely break down and when she motioned to stand, he pulled her back down.

He spoke no words, his only answer, a kiss.

Oh how she had missed his passion filled kisses. His firm, yet soft lips. His mouth which always tasted like peppermint from the Lifesavers he sometimes kept between his teeth and cheek. His tongue as it explored her mouth, forcing a battle which neither really intended to win. Between each breath as his lips brushed against hers, he muttered over and over again..."I love you, I love you, I love you."

Allison allowed her body to relax as he motioned her backward onto the mattress. Unlike their love making a few days ago, this time she sensed him there emotionally as well as physically. Each touch of his hand, each kiss upon her skin, every whisper in her ear displayed the shameless desire he had for her. Allison let him take full control as he grasped the hem of her sweatshirt and slowly slid it up her frame, his hands lovingly caressing each curve, bend and mound. Thankfully, in her rush to leave the house, she had failed to put on any underwear and when he touched her bare skin, she couldn't help but to whimper wantonly. Her body felt as if it were on fire. When he finally pulled the shirt over her head and captured a pert breast within his mouth, a pleasured moan escaped her lips. When he reached down to push her sweatpants from her hips she stirred restlessly as a shiver traveled through her nether regions. When he gradually placed a finger inside of her, she knew he could feel the moisture, his lips smiling against hers.

As he stood to remove his own clothes, Allison took the opportunity to kick off her sneakers. She didn't even care that they were in the jail cell, it wouldn't matter where they were. She wanted him, no, needed him. His own sleep clothes peeled off, he crawled a top her and wasted no time as he entered. Apparently his need was as strong as hers and unlike the other night, this time, he was tender.

Allison clasped her arms tightly around his broad shoulders as he moved inside. Matching his pace, she ground steadily against him. She had no clue how long they lay there with each other and frankly she couldn't care less. If someone were to burst in on them right now, she didn't think she would stop until she heard the satisfied roar emitted from throat. As they rocked in unison, she could tell he was close. She could feel his heartbeat quicken as his body pressed against hers. The heat on her neck from his labored breathing. His arms as they held her tight in his embrace. Her slender hands gripped his taut bottom as the neatly trimmed fingernails dug covetously into his flesh. It all conspired in creating a passion filled experience.

Then he pleaded to her.

"Cum with me baby."

And that was all it took. Just the right words to send her over the edge as they climaxed in unison, ending in a crescendo of pleasured moans. Allison had never felt so alive as she had in this moment, and then she saw it. The smile that always put her at ease, filled her heart with joy and displayed the love he had for her. Thats when she knew for sure, everything would be all right.

_Fin_

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**A/N: So sorry for the delay, but as you know, life gets in the way. I will be updating Blame It On The Hormones, The Laws of Attraction and writing new one shots. Thank you all for your patience and support.**


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